Correct Interpretation

So mine and Chris's song is "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain which is quite possibly one of the most beautiful songs ever written/sung. However, there are some parts of it that are a little confusing. So I was reading online about song meanings, etc to try and figure out what some of it meant. However, there were some really bogus things that people said. So I decided that I would follow the lead of one of the girls and give my own line by line interpretation...the correct way.

"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath"
When I look into your eyes, it takes my breath away.

"Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth"
Although we can see the beauty and majesty of the mountains, we still can't even comprehend their depth. Although he can see her beauty, he can't even comprehend her depth.

"Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love"
Say that we are meant to be and let's have a fairytale with all the characteristics of love

"I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips"
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above"
It's a play on the word hang. He was so deep into pain that it was hanging him. But she has redeemed him.

"I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide"
Another way of describing suicide is destroying of one's own interests. So he's saying that he will be there no matter what and be self-sacrificing for love.

"I'll Be better when I'm older"
Love only gets greater and stronger with time.

"I'll Be the greatest fan of your life"
This line means a lot more to me than it possibly does to other people because I basically confessed to Chris everything wrong I had ever done and this song was his response. This line was what hit me the hardest because its saying that you know everything about me and I know everything about you and still I'm your number one fan.

"Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed"
"You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead"
In reference to hanging from the gallows of love in previous lines- he is saying that she is his redemption.

Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life

"I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead"
I've struggled my whole life- the pain was literally killing me but because of you I fought my way back to happiness and freedom.

"Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things you said"
I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life

So there ya go. The right interpretation. It's really a beautiful song about finding hope in love even when you thought all hope was lost and becoming a new person because someone believed in you enough and loved you enough that you could be better than you were before.

Reason #4567 why I love my boyfriend: This song.
Reason #2958 why I love my boyfriend: He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Conversation

I love conversation hearts. Here's a good story about them: This one time I was dating this guy who will remain nameless and it was around Valentine's day. Now, V-day was on a Friday and I had made him this Dashboard Confessional duct tape wallet, which was totally cool and amazing at the time. So all week I decided that I would bring him something to school leading up to Valentine's Day. So, one of these days I brought him conversation hearts. And I gave him the box and he kinda looked at me funny. And I was like "What's wrong?" And he was like, "I hate conversation hearts!". Obviously, I was crushed. So then for Valentine's Day he bought me a 5 lb bag of conversationa hearts. How's that for some good conversation?

Reason #2957 why I love my boyfriend: He likes conversation hearts.

End. Love.

Sustainment

WE ARE GOING TO GERMANY!!! No, seriously. We are going. In like 3 months, we will be back in Dresden. Well, I will be back and Chris will be there. Chris will be with me in Germany. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! I am so excited. I am so excited. The end.

Tonight we had our research banquet. It was a lot better than I anticipated. But then again most things that I don't want to do are. We had this amazingly nice catered dinner. And these missionaries spoke which was kind of odd but apparently they fund a good chunk of the research we do during the summer. So they were talking about their mission in Fiji and he said that one of their goals was that their work would be self sustaining. That kinda hit me weird- good weird. Self sustaining...Basically, what he meant was that they wanted a church in which the work would continue after they were gone.

So, now, of course I want that for Dresden. I want mine and Chris's work to be self sustaining. But what if we took it a step further? I mean don't we want everything about our lives to be self sustaining. Don't we want to leave a legacy. But I guess the way that I am really thinknig about it is don't we want even our daily mission work to be self sustaining. Don't we want everything we do in our ministries and when ministering to each other to be self sustaining?

Christ was the perfect example of self sustainment. Look how many years His legacy has lived on. So shouldn't we then want everything we do in His name to be self sustaining?

Another Day

I am so tired. But not like oh I really need sleep tired but just like my body is trying to get well and it's wearing me out!!

I have a German test tomorrow.

I can't wait to be married. And by be married I really mean get married. And by get married I really mean have a wedding and a honeymoon, etc. Maybe I should be a wedding planner. Then I would get to have weddings for the rest of my life. I mean it could be really fun. We'll see what God has in store. He always has something new up His sleeve that is unexpected. So I'll shoot for my wedding first and then Germany and then we'll pick it up from there.

I can't wait for the rest of my life to happen but at the same time it's like I've waited so long for it, I don't really want it to be over yet. So yes I want all of those things but right now I really like anticipating them all. I'm ready to still be young for a little while. And the great thing is, is that I get to.

It just seems like that once you hit 20 life hits the fast forward button. I don't really feel like that yet butI am really nervous about everything going so fast and turning around and realizing I am 50 and my kids have left home, etc.

I really hope that I know Chris in Heaven. Because then there is no fear of this life ever being over. Don't get me wrong. I can't wait for Heaven either but I would feel sad if we didn't know each other there. Because to me right now he is Heaven.

:)

Forgetfulness

Dear Blog,

I almost forgot about you tonight. That would have been extremely tragic because I have been doing so good at keeping up with you. But, alas, here I am not forgetting about you. It's not that I don't love you anymore, its just that its been quite the long weekend and we'll I just have a lot on my mind. I'm not sure about everything but it my horoscope says that something is bothering me and I need to work it out alone and then with my sweetie. I think the horoscope is right. And we talked some tonight about things and it helped me. The new goal is to do something for at least half an hour a day that is something I want to do- a stress release. Oddly enough, this is going to be a really hard task for me. I can't do things like that because I always need to be doing something. But this semester is all about forming better habits so let's just add this one to the list. I mean I am practically going to be a new person by the time this semester is over. It's going to be fantastic. Okay I'm going to bed now. I won't forget about you anymore. I wish that you could somehow remind me, like I wish I could call you or something. Okay, peace.

Bis bald und alles Liebe.

Carefree-ness

Today was completing wonderful and relaxing. I woke up and talked to Chris for a couple hours. Then I had lunch with Kayla and we had an amazing talk about everything basically happening in both of our lives. Then I went over to Traci's and helped her with Bryan's gift. Then I watched Goodbye Lenin with Barbara and we decided we are going to road trip after graduation. It's weekends like these that make me never want to leave. I wish I could have more weekends like these. Next weekend is Vegas and it shall prove to be extremely...well, extreme, I guess. Also, I can't wait til this summer. I love everything. Goodnight.

Sunset Jazz

Tonight Traci and I had the most amazing time! Sunday is Bryan's birthday and then obviously Valentine's Day is coming up soon. So, we went to get stuff for that. One of the places that we went was called "Hear Music". Its a Starbucks but then inside is a music store where you can make your own mixed CD. So we sat for like 2 hours and listened to music and made this amazing CD. And we had such a blast doing it. Let me just say that I am going to go make CDs there all the time. I need to make more money at my job so that I can go make mixed CDs.

But more importantly Traci and I had a really good time bonding and spending time together. I love her.

Okay more about all of this later and RA interviewing, etc.

Love.