A Blank

I had something really interesting that I was going to write about tonight but as I sit here I am drawing a blank. I really don't understand where this came from. I was so happy earlier today. I mean ridiculously happy and stress-free and everything was so good. And then tonight I came home and I sat and watched TV alone and then did the dishes alone and then folded laundry alone...and well I guess when its nighttime and I'm doing all those things in the dark alone, it makes me feel, well really lonely. And then lonely leads to depressed. And well there ya go. And I'm trying really hard not to be this and there really is no excuse and its really not fair for me to use the fact that I am a girl...but I just feel needy and depressed right now. And I want to tell Chris to buy a plane ticket but I know better than that and I know that we need the money for Germany and "the future" and I know that tomorrow I will feel a lot better (hopefully), but right now I just feel a little selfish. Maybe its because of where I live, everyone is pretty much selfish all the time. Maybe it is finally rubbing off on me. Or maybe I am just maintenance needy. Or maybe I just needed a little attention.