Patience

I want to do it the right way. I want in the end for it to be done right.

I want us to be financially stable. I want to have the perfect ring and an amazing wedding. I want to have an apartment and a dog and move to Germany and have children and grow old. I want to reach our dreams and live the life we have imagined.

But mostly I want to do it together. There's nothing that I can think of that I want to do without you. And I want all of that.

I guess my question is why do we have to wait? What about now? What about today?

Here's the other thing. There is very little in my life that I haven't gotten. On the contrary, Chris has had to work for everything he's has. As you can imagine that presents somewhat of a problem when discussing money. In my mind, money always works itself out. In Chris's mind, money always needs to be considered and you might have to say no to one thing in order to get another.

I bet that I could find a ring that I liked just as much for $3000 and put the other $2000 towards Germany. I know that is not the only issue. And I understand, I do. I get the logic. It's just so hard for logic to make sense in my head.

Especially when we've wanted to go together so bad and now we can...we'll maybe.
I mean seriously, we talk about nothing else...nothing. But then I want to get engaged and have a wedding and get married all within the next 2 years, which also takes money.

I hate money. I hate that money dictates life. Here are two songs that will say it better than I can right now...love.

I wanna do it all by Terri Clark
I'm sitting in traffic
For the 5th year in a row
Wasting my time
Just to get
Where I don't even wanna go
I started jotting things down
On a krispy kreme sack
Everything I'd do
If I could leave this place
And never look back

I wanna do it all
Visit Paris in the fall
Watch the Yankees play ball
I wanna take it all in
Catch a few beads
Down at Mardi Gras
Start a tradition
Lay down the law
I wanna do it all

I want to drink tequila
Down in Tijuana
Say why not
When somebody says
Hey do you wanna
I wanna get my heart broke
Once or twice
Settle down with the love of my life
Rock little babies to sleep at night

I wanna spend a day
Every now and then
Just doin what I want to do
When I wanna do it
Anytime I wanna do it

I wanna do it all
See Niagara falls
Fight city hall
Feel good in my skin
Beating the odds
With my back to the wall
Try to rob Peter
Without paying Paul
I wanna do it all

Anyway by Martina McBride

You can spend your whole life building
something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach and
you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

Chorus:
God is great, but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray it doesnt always
turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy and its hard to believe
that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart,
for all the right reasons,
and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love em anyway

Repeat Chorus

You can pour your soul out singing
a song you believe in
that tomorrow theyll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, sing it anyway

I sing, I dream, I love, anyway