It doesn't get any easier. You think that with time you would get used to it. But it actually seems like it gets harder. I just keep telling myself that there has to be a reason for this and yet I can't really seem to find one. Okay, logically I understand it and I know that in the end we will be better for it. But right now, it sucks...a lot. I miss him already and he's only been gone a few hours. I've cried multiple times today just out of the blue. And I can't decide if looking at bridal magazines is healthy or not. It makes me really happy and excited and I love thinking about our wedding. And what I really like is that right now I have no budget and the sky's the limit. So I can dream really big and so in the end I think it's all going to turn out really beautiful even when I have to get my budget.
My white roses are dying. It makes me really sad. I think they are dying because Chris is gone.
We are going to get a Cairn Terrier to take all around the world with us.
I basically can't wait for the rest of my life to happen.
I guess to problem is that I need to learn how to be happy now.
And most days I am really happy-I just have my moments. And again, I think I let things get to me more than I realize and I think that this is more stress that I actually let on.
It's all worth.
Now here's a kind encouragement (from the Kleenex company):
Do you want to lay your head on my shoulder?
I don't mind if you cry.
Sometimes we all just need to let it out.
Just let your tears run down my arm,
so I can keep them in a blue jar.
We'll drink them later, so just let it out.let it out
Let's take a walk just to clear our heads.
I don't mind that you're holding my hand.
You say you love me, so just let it out.let it out
Your smile is a pleasant change from before,
when you thought that you couldn't take anymore.
Sometimes we all just need to let it out.let it out
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